Monday, May 26, 2014

All Men

Dear Members of the Human Race With Penises,

Many of you are not even aware there is a social media campaign going on right now called #YesAllWomen. To you, what the hell is wrong with you? Pay attention. Put down your gaming controller for 30 minutes and read something.

Some of you are aware of #YesAllWomen and are confused about it. You're telling yourself, "But that's not me." You're telling yourself, "Not ALL men are like this." You are missing the point.

The point is that right now, you have the opportunity to hop on da Twittah and learn something. You have the opportunity to see things from a point of view that you, no matter how much you think you understand, do not fully understand.

The point is that women all over the world are sharing their experiences right now as to what it's like living in a culture dominated by men. You have the opportunity to learn from this, and if you're not you are doing yourself and every woman in America a great disservice.

The point is that if you aren't paying attention, if you aren't trying to find your place in this issue, you are contributing to the stories behind all these Tweets.

Reading these stories and Tweets will make you uncomfortable. They should. But know this, they are making a lot of men uncomfortable. And a lot of men are learning from that uncomfortableness and getting it right.

What each and every one of you guys should be doing right now is learning. You should use what's happening on social media right now as an example to start today asking the women in your life, "Could you please explain this to me from your point of view?" Then you should realize that not all women share the same experiences and go ask another one.

Ask yourselves this question: What am I personally doing about this? Then ask yourselves this question: What policies and candidates can I support to do something about this?


American Women


  1. Madison, you make some perfectly good, valid points about the subset of humanity that a) has penises and b) treats the female of the species as sex objects rather than fellow human beings.

    However, there are other subsets of humanity that are also targeted by the jocks, construction workers, politicians and police officers.

    They're the nice guys who were singled out as targets in school as being geeks or nerds, as not being as physically coordinated, or just being smarter than the others. The ones who grew up to be teachers, accountants, insurance actuaries or computer programmers.

    Or maybe we were targeted because we were gay.

    We understand where you're coming from, because we've been there. We've been treated as something other than equals-- our difference is that OUR abuse was physical AND emotional, rather than just emotional.

    1. Dear Politicalsanity, You're missing the whole point here and making a tremendously ignorant assumption along the way! First of all : This is not about you! This is not about male geeks, nerds, gays or whatever! This is about girls! This is about women! And the fact that you don't get this is one more huge reason that it gets perpetuated! What you are missing here is the fact that the entire female gender, every single girl and woman lives underneath the boot of patriarchal dominance & has since the beginning of recorded history, not just special categories that meet with angry hormone-laced teenage angst
      . No, you do not, as you say "understand where these women are coming from" at all! And your ridiculous statement in the last line of your comment that women's abuse is "just emotional" and not physical makes me ask : On just what the Hell planet were you raised? Certainly it wasn't this one!

    2. Thank you! That's all I have to say, because this needed to be stated!

    3. So, the abuse women endure is "only emotional", huh? So, being shot in the head for daring to try to get an education is "only emotional"? Having acid thrown in your face for saying "no" to a man is "only emotional"? Being raped, beaten and left for dead because you dared to try to live your life on your own terms is "only emotional"? Thank you ever so much for letting us know that, no matter what form it takes, the abuse of women is "only emotional". You are so very wise.

    4. Going through school, it would be *extremely* rare for males to be physically abusive to females-- but extremely commonplace for males to be physically abusive to other males.

      After graduation, when those who had been abusing other males for years finally get out into the 'real' world, THEN females become targets-- usually because they somehow threaten the "masculinity" of the male.

      What I had been saying (and admittedly was stated badly) was that for females of Madison's age slash generation, she's not likely to be facing physical abuse for a few years-- but that for other males that are her peers, they're facing physical abuse every damn day.

    5. @michael kemp-- You're right. We should only try to solve issues common to both sexes by focusing only on how one sex perceives how things are seen.

      I can't post something that says "I agree with what you have to say, but...". It has to be simply "OMG you're so right."

      Got it. Thanks.

    6. @politicalsanity ... I understand that 'alpha males' victimize the 'geeks' or 'nerds' ... that's Bullying and it happens all to often. However, this particular blog post was about understanding what life is like for women in an oppressive global society. Your point, regardless of validity, is part of the problem. You (perhaps unwittingly) attempt to hijack the conversation by making it about something that it isn't. You also make alarmingly naive and shockingly cavalier statements about when Madison should expect to experience violence. This sir is bullshit. Girls get raped in school hallways. Girls get abused by their teachers. Girls get abused by friends older brothers or their own step parent, or their uncle, or grandfather ... or ... or ... or ... it happens all the freaking time! As I said ... this isn't about bullying ... this is about women being oppressed due to the patriarchal society we live in. I'm sorry for your painful experiences at the hands of your peers, but I respectfully disagree that you could possibly understand where we are coming from.

  2. @Political Sanity, what on earth told you our abuse weve endured is only emotional? Violence againt women by men are at astronomical rates and still continue to rise :/

  3. Great post. However, please remember that not all men have penises and not everyone who has a penis is a man. In particular, transwomen face an incredible amount of discrimination from patriarchal society, regardless of the status of their genitalia.

    1. So much this. I love to see someone so young getting their voice out there, but try not to forget that sex and gender are two different things. :)

  4. Well said! It is unfortunate that many of us are still ignorant when it comes to violence against women. We need to continue to spread the word so that more become aware and make the right decision to slow the rise of violence against women.

  5. Madison, you are correct, it is about women, as it should be. and some men, like myself rejoice in it. something most women may or may not understand. I married a wonderful woman from the Philippines, raised very much in a subservient society. a society where a man abusing a woman, is acceptable.

    as an enlightened person, I stated to her that to me, she is my equal, and that she needed to be comfortable with the fact that no person regardless of sex, creed or color is superior to her, nor lesser than her unless she allows then the superiority, or they prove their inferiority through their actions or beliefs. we have now been married 10+ years now, and i have a strong equal at my side, willing to voice her needs, beliefs, and expectations. we support each other equally, and joyfully each understanding the give and take everybody requires in life.

    Together we formed a bio-energy company that is growing quickly, and making a positive impact in the Philippines not only in environment, but also by producing thousands of jobs for farmers. (each farm here is owned by the farmer, with 1-3 hectare of land) within the next 2 years we expect to pass 10,000 hectare, removing about 1.5 million Metric Tonne of coal from power generation. ( 1 tonne of carbon produces about 3 tonne of carbon dioxide)

    she owns the majority of shares, and is my assistant (i am CEO), but we equally make decisions.

    to decide that all men don't understand is unfair, some of us actually do. it comes from our willingness to listen and discuss and support things openly with, and for the women in our lives, just as they hold the same understanding and are willing to listen, discuss and support my needs.

    I never required being told these truths, it is inherent in the true equality of humankind. I support the movement wholly, as hopefully those that are more self concerned, might actually learn a truth or two!