Thursday, August 1, 2013

A Friend For Life

I talk to both my mom and my dad about sex but these days, I get most of my information from websites like Scarleteen, Planned Parenthood, and others. It's not that I'm embarrassed to have frank discussions about sex with my parents. We have discussions about all kinds of things, sex being just one of them. It's just that I'm an introvert and would rather read than talk to anyone about anything. 

I talk to my friends about sex sometimes. Most of my friends are older and some of them are sexually active. Truth is, there are a lot of reasons people have sex. Truth is, even though I have opinions about the reasons I would choose to have sex or choose not to, it's really none of my business what other women decide.

Chances are, despite contraception being available, I'll eventually have a friend who gets pregnant unintentionally. I know some teen moms and women who became moms when they were teens but I've never gone through the experience of a friend finding out she was pregnant. When that does happen, I'm not going to immediately advise her to go get an abortion.

The thing is, just like having sex, there's not much I could really do to influence another woman as to what to do if pregnant even if I wanted to. So if I did have a friend in that situation, I think it would be important to let her know that I'll be there with her whether that means going to a doctor for an abortion or for prenatal care for the duration of her pregnancy if she needed me.

Despite the fact I'm pro-choice, I'd really like to see abortion rates as low as they could be. The ways to accomplish this are by making contraception as accessible as possible and providing things like enforced paid maternity leave from work, food assistance, housing assistance, child care assistance, and other things families need to survive. Ways to not accomplish this are giving women incorrect information, making it hard to get birth control, and shaming women for making "poor life choices."

It's really disgusting that people who don't think they would have an abortion themselves want to call me a baby killer because I believe in a woman's right to choose. I've seen all the fetus pictures. I know people who have had premature infants fighting for their lives in NICU and I have known  parents who have experienced the sorrow of losing a child. If my mom had chosen to have an abortion when she was pregnant with me, I wouldn't be here and therefore I wouldn't care. A woman's right to choose isn't about any of that. All that's about is propaganda, not reason.

If you have needed or chosen to have an abortion, I support you. That has to be the hardest decision ever and sometimes it's not a decision, it's a medical necessity. If you haven't or wouldn't choose to have an abortion, I support you too. Raising a child, even if you are financially secure, is a really hard thing. Giving up a child for adoption must be terribly hard. My idea of supporting women is supporting women, no matter what choices they make.


  1. Madison, I doubt you remember me but I knew you when you were just a little toddler at DSUMC. I have spoken with your momma on Facebook, but just wanted to tell you that your words warm my heart. It's so refreshing and hopeful to see a young person standing up for and supporting others. That's the only way to peace :) Keep going, lady! You're doing HUGE things! xo, Dani Moore

  2. You are an amazing young woman, Madison. I found your blog thanks to Kim Johnson and am truly inspired by your words. I hope that we are raising more and more young women like you.


  3. Madison, you are remarkably articulate. No one has said it better!

  4. Well said, Madison. You are an incredibly articulate, deep-thinking young woman and it makes me very hopeful that your generation is thinking and writing about this issue as you do.

  5. Sensible, rational and sane-- that's what you sound like, Madison. Glad to meet you through your writings. Keep up the good work.

  6. You are such a smart well spoken girl, and honestly, you are exactly the kind of young lady this world needs! Why can't their be a couple million more of you?! Keep up the good work, you'll go so far in your life if you do.

  7. This is wonderful and well-spoken! Keep up the great writing and great work!

  8. It is so rare to hear a girl talk so grown up and with common sense. Madison, you will become a great spokesperson for women's rights. Keep up the good messages that you bring to kids of your generation. You have a good heart.

  9. Madison, never lose that independence of yours, that willingness to speak your mind regardless! It's a trait that many people are severely lacking these days! You are an intelligent young lady and you are definitely going places! Kudos and keep up the great work!

  10. >My idea of supporting women is supporting women, no matter what choices they make. <

    This is perfection. Thank you!

  11. Way to go Madison! I am from the Netherlands, and I wholeheartedly support you!

    A nitpick: "Despite the fact I'm pro-choice, I'd really like to see abortion rates as low as they could be."
    "Despite" is the wrong word here, it suggests that pro-choice people LIKE or DON'T mind a high abortion rate.

    This is what the anti-choice peeps PRETEND (aka LIE) we want!
    They change our position into abortion-liker or worse, baby killers, while we are NOTHING OF THE SORT!

    It's a 'logical fallacy', called a "Straw Man":

    Perhaps you could change this sentence to:
    "I'm pro-choice, AND I'd really like to see abortion rates as low as they could be."

    Good luck, Madison. I'd tell you to do your homework and listen to your mom, but you seem to do that pretty well already ...;)