Unimpressed

Want to impress me? Don't constantly attempt to flatter me with generic compliments. If certain people continue to do this, I'm going to start replying to their messages with messages and tweets from random strangers in mass quantities. I'm not going to cry because I haven't been told I'm smart or pretty in the last 10 minutes, I promise.

Want to impress me? Do something. If you're a total slacker with nothing but problems and no goals in life, seemingly incapable of doing things independently or having intelligent thoughts, don't wonder why I roll my eyes at you or seem to ignore you.

Want to impress me? Do your own thing. That thing you do doesn't have to be encompassed in my main interests for me to admire it. Your personality doesn't have to be exactly like mine for me to appreciate you. Don't try to be me to make me like you. Don't try to be anyone else to make me like you either.

Want to impress me? Let me do my thing. It's cool when people see something and share it with me as something to possibly write about. It's cool when people contact me to collaborate. It's not cool to get 5 messages in a row, "You should do this. And this. And this. And this. And this."

Want to impress me? Don't lecture me. Share your own thoughts on a topic and I promise I will read/hear what you say thoughtfully. You might not agree with my response, but if you can't handle that then you can't handle me at my best or my worst, so why even bother? I don't mean for this to sound braggy, but there are some people I just want to tell, "Let me know when both MSNBC and Fox News call to ask your opinion." And for the love of the flying spaghetti monster, guys, DON'T MANSPLAIN.

Want to impress me? Speaking of guys, the quickest way to turn me off to you as friends or otherwise is to refer to other guys as "faggots" to try to make yourself appear like the man you are not. Equally repulsive is treating women like objects and playthings. Also, I'm not interested in superficial relationships created merely to change your Facebook status, give you a +1 in your inventory, boost your social capital, or make up for your lack of self-esteem. And, if I tell you no, I'm not playing hard to get or any other kind of game. Oh, and just because I'm a feminist doesn't mean I don't like dudes. Some people need to get over themselves.

Want to impress me? Conduct yourself with some dignity. Trying to convince me someone else is a terrible person and you are the answer to all humanity's needs just makes you look like an ass. I can see things for myself. Trust me, I can function.

Want to impress me? I work hard. All work and no play makes Maddie INSANE. In case you haven't noticed, Maddie is creative. When Maddie's brain is tired, Maddie can't create. Maddie doesn't want to talk about serious things all day every day 24/7. Maddie wants to laugh, mock things, play games, watch YouTubers, and be random. Also, I'm an introvert. I need to recharge. If you can be present in my space without expecting constant contact or interaction, all the better.

Want to impress me? Once again, I work hard. If you send me a message and I don't answer right away, don't take it personally. Don't ask me why I don't answer after 5 minutes or if I'm mad at you. Don't send me 95 more messages to try to get my attention. I'm probably working or doing the things that keep me from going insane.

Want to impress me? I'm nobody's prop. Don't assume due to my age that I'm naive. Again, I like working with people and collaborating. I like helping people. But if all you see me as is hits, ratings, and followers, feel free to kiss off. It's not hard to tell who is out there working for a cause and who is working for their own egos.

Want to impress me? Don't try to impress me.